So here we are at Christmas number two without you. I thought I was used to it, but it still gets to me.
I was reading recently about France. Did you know this little known fact about the country we wanted to visit together - they have the 12 timezones - the most of any country. That's really rather odd and hard to believe that it's not us that has the most.
What did you do for Christmas? My Christmas was quiet, and honestly, I wish I didn't have to celebrate. I feel bad because I feel bad and can't celebrate like I once did. I feel bad for those around me that they have to deal with the way that I feel. I wish I knew a way to instantly make everything be ok even if you are not in my life. I just simply do not know how to.
I finished Tiger Rag today. I had just started it on Saturday. A read that quick has to be good and it certainly was. I love how the author wove together seemingly disparate threads into a satisfying while by the time the end came. I only wish there had been more to read. I realize that I am reading more and more as a means of escaping a life that I'd rather not be living.
I saw you at the liquor store and you saw me. You looked good, so I guess you have no lingering affects by your decision to leave. I guess you found the happiness that you didn't have with me. I wish now that I hadn't seen you. I first took it as a good sign and even cancelled a hypnotherapy session I had planned to replace some of the positive emotions without their charge - positive emotions from us. I am thinking now it was a mistake to do so. I may opt to go back and have it done now.
I've been seeing the number 22 a lot recently and wondered why it was standing out in my mind. You know what I came across while archiving photos? A picture of the room we stayed at in the Atlantic Hotel - yep it was room 22. I also had 2 SPAM messages from "Alexa". They fooled my filter and ended up in your box. I got excited until I saw them.
Can you tell that I am still pathetically in love with you? Will you ever marry me?