Did you know that in the world each day about 96 elephants are killed? Every day we kill more and more of this planet off in our own selfish pursuits. We are truly a selfish species for the most part. We take from Mother Nature. We take from the animals. We take from each other. All in the name of the moment of feeling good, doing what we want. If this is truly the road human nature is taking, we have lost our path to enlightenment.
For my part, I am trying to give more of myself to others. It's part of the transformation I've been making since you left me. I will not become a selfish individual, self-absorbed with myself. I may never have many friends in the world, but I will make the world a better place for my having been here.
I turned in my first video assignment for my actual equine massage work this morning, after taping it using Sprite, Carol's horse last night. While I was there massaging Sprite, feeling connected to the beautiful spirit of Carol that now surrounds us all, I got a call that a horse at the barn I used to keep Blue Blue Sea at needed a massage and was in pain. Of course, I answered that call. The horse was very sore on his left side only, middle of the back to the loins. He got some relief from my work, but it was clear something rather traumatic had happened. I hope when I see him again this weekend that he is fully recovered.
I turned in a proposal to the town we both live in to have a Little Free Library added (http://littlefreelibrary.org/). I will do any fundraising needed to buy materials and will build the box and have plenty of resources to provide books to stock the library. Really, all I need from the town is a spot they are willing to have it. I think the gazebo or one of the parks is the ideal spot. I hope they decide it is worth while.
Tomorrow, I talk to the founder of a non-profit about starting up a local chapter of his group. I am so excited! I really hope he gives me the go-ahead. I can't wait for the challenge.
I saw pictures of you today with the man I suspected is your new love interest. I wonder if you were honest with me when you told me that there wasn't anyone else when you left. There was so much that you weren't honest and open about in our relationship it does make me wonder. I know that I had my faults, but I have come to recognize that you do, too. It's not my place to make you change those, indeed, no one can make another person change. You made me want to change and I have and am continuing to do so, but you didn't make me change. I still do love you. I still know in my heart and soul that you are my soulmate. I think somewhere down deep you do, too, but you are yet again running away from things in your life, just as you run away from emotion and try to cloak yourself in logic and the rational.
That said, you have no reason to fear me. I will not chase after you. I will not try to convince. But I will always be there for you like a safe harbor when the seas of life are rocky. I think one day perhaps that you will realize not how great I am, but how great we are when we are together. If you don't well, then I will continue my work as a good citizen of the planet and fill up my hours so my heart will have no time to be painful.
I counted 4 Kia's today, 41 yesterday (and numbers 3 and 31 looked just like yours), 49 on Tuesday and 65 on Monday.