Only a power outage could keep me from writing to you, and that's just what happened. Wednesday afternoon, a little after 15:00, the power went out like it had several times throughout the day thanks to the icestorm, but this time, it didn't come back on. Time stretched on and on and the cold got worse and worse. I never want to be that cold again, still I would say that coldness was easier to take than the coldness I feel in my heart since I've still heard nothing from you. Anyway, the power finally got back up and running the next evening.
Over 24 hours without heat in a house takes its toll in a huge way. By the end of that time, I was exhausted, couldn't think very well and was constantly moving to try to stay warm. Most of the day was spent in dashing from one restaurant or store to the next to find a warm spot, but that of course, only created more exhaustion.
I didn't get to go to physical therapy, as they were without power all week. Hopefully next week, though I think an MRI is going to be needed. My pain level was actually worse this week, even after the session on Monday.
All three of these days were largely uneventful. I still work on my gratitude project and am sending you much love and light for all of the blessings you have brought into my life. I hope that you can feel that love and light and that you will put it to good use in your own journey from here on.
Today, my book came - How to Mend Your Broken Heart - it was suggested by my therapist. Since it seems you have completely given up on me, as even a friend, I need to find a way to stop the bleeding that your leaving has caused. I will never stop loving you, but I won't let your leaving me kill me. You see, I never *needed* you in my life - I WANTED you in my life. There's a huge difference in the two. I also went for a walk on the new walking trail behind my house. It was an interesting little path, one I wish you and I would be hiking on shortly. I will probably email you about it, so you can check it out on your own sometime. You may not answer me, but every so often, when I see something appropriate, I will email it to you, to let you know that I will always care for you.
I counted many a Kia. Wednesday: there were 15, Thursday: there were 67 and the final one of the day looked just like yours, but it wasn't. it was parked up in Hagerstown, where I had dinner. Today I counted just 5, my favorite number.
Thank you for loving me once upon a time. In another dimension, I hope you'll say yes, when I ask you to marry me.
Yours forever,
MNP