Lima beans are not a favorite of mine. Strike that. Lima beans are my least favorite vegetable. I cannot stand their taste or their texture. I have never outgrown my hatred of them that I have had since a child. I knew that they contained a toxin if not cooked that could kill you, but I learned a new fact about them today that is intriguing at least. When spider mites are looking to eat the beans, the beans emit a chemical that attracts spider mite predators, thereby rescuing many of themselves. The more I have learned over the years about how plants communicate and the like, the more fascinated I become by them.
Although I am disappointed that you and I have not fully reconciled and indeed that will always be a dark spot on my heart and soul should it remain so, I have really begun to move along to continue the progress of rebuilding my life and filling up the hours without you. Now that the neck surgery is done and recovery is going well, I have started to draw again. I want to really hone my skills and try to do some painting with some of the many ideas that float in my head.
Another area that I want to get back to is my writing. I have neglected it for, too long in some ways, but in other ways, I think I may be right where I need to be. I have experienced more of life now than ten years ago. I have known loss and heartbreak and suffering and adversity. But I have persevered through each one that threatened to undo me.
I also plan to start working on learning the guitar. And of course, I must finish up the equine massage course first and foremost! I am actually feeling a great level of excitement about my plans and the things I will be doing. The only thing missing is you.
I counted 59 Kia's yesterday and 33 today. Over this week, I have had many references come into my life from your name, from singers and authors to SPAM messages to names in my reading. Perhaps I am only just a dreamer trying to make something out of nothing, but still that is where I am and always will be. Maybe one day you will meet me halfway between the dream and the reality and I can ask, will you marry me?
Dreaming,
MNP