Ah, how I wish I was back home in New Orleans. We are to Mardi Gras eve, or Lundi Gras, as it has come to be known. I've been eating lots of crawfish all sorts of ways, having King Cake, singing Iko, Iko and generally wishing just two things - I was in the thick of Carnival season and that you were with me. I never really felt the lyrics of Do You Know What It Means to Miss New Orleans until now. Of course, I've missed New Orleans since when I was around nine and we moved away, but it's that last line about missing someone more than New Orleans that you have made me understand. Now when Satchmo sings it, I feel it.
Well, I will have neither of my wishes for Mardi Gras day, and I will have to be content with that.
Did you get a snowday today? I spent my afternoon out for a walk in the neighborhood, took some snowy pictures and went sledding a little. Still, I could have done without more snow. Just am really through with it and all the cold.
Some days when I think of us, it feels like only yesterday because the pain is so raw, deep and ragged. Other days when I think of us, the joy, happiness and love we had feels like another lifetime ago, almost like it wasn't even me. More like it was someone whose life I read about. It's an odd carousel of emotions. I truly think a carousel is a better depiction than a roller coast because a roller coaster has a beginning an end. I don't think we deal with losing someone, whether to death or breakup, that the ride ever ends. It goes on and on, and the best you can do is to make that ride as painfree and enjoyable as possible.
Be safe on the roads tomorrow if you go in to work. I counted no Kia's in my walk and didn't drive anywhere today. Maybe one day, the ride will come back to where you and I are standing together. I would love to see that day. If such a day exists in the future, will you marry me?