Today was another day to begin again, to let the past go and be a better person. That is exactly what I am working on. As I turned an important corner yesterday, I could feel the positive effect today. All of these changes are because of you, because you loved me and then you left me. You inspired me to change, and I am forever grateful to you for that. Never underestimate the incredible effect you can have on someone.
Yes, of course, I would rather that you were here with me to see and experience the new me, but if you do not wish to be here with me, then that is the way it will be.
I finished How to Mend Your Broken Heart today. All in all, an excellent book, not just for helping individuals heal a broken heart, but these principles in the book would be useful in changing behavior that can negatively impact all relationships in your life. I wish I had discovered such aids before you walked out or that you had given me just a little more time, as I would have discovered them, as I was already going to counseling. Wishes though will get you nowhere when the events have already passed. Now, I will go back and use the techniques in the book. One of the two authors of this book has another book out about changing your life in seven days. I believe I will get that book and see how it might help me as well.
I also finished reading The Weird Sisters. It helped me in unexpected ways as well as the other book. I don't know what led me to pick it up when I was browsing books, perhaps fate, at least to my mind that is the most likely cause. It isn't the kind of book I would normally pick up, but it was about changing, too, so I think someone out there knew I needed the lessons it taught me.
I took a break from reading and working on me to watch Winter's Tale. Wow, my kind of movie. I think you know that at heart I am a romantic. I was always the more romantic of the two of us in our relationship, but that's one of the things I really loved. We evened the odd ends of each other out. You who look at the world in rational and logical terms. Me who believes in the magic and wonder of the world. Neither extreme is good for existence. It takes a balance of both, and in your arms, I found that.
I counted 43 total Kia's today. Not an especially interesting number and no sign to be had from it, but they were there.
As we prepare for another week of work and toil, I hope that you have had a wonderful weekend doing things that make you happy. I wish you were here with me. I wish I could propose marriage to you, as I always wanted to. Perhaps one day, I will get to.
You are always in my heart,
MNP