Did you know that less than 7 people in 100 worldwide have a college degree? I have one. While I do not regret having it (though am still paying it off all these years later), I don't know that it has really helped me in my endeavors. I think there are benefits, but perhaps they are not as utilitarian as we like to believe them to be.
Well, today was the one year anniversary of you ending us for good. I will never forgot how gutted I felt, sitting their having lunch in a mall restaurant in Pennsylvania while Christmas shopping for you when I got that text: "I am not happy. I do not want to continue." The text that ended us. I had already paid for food that I would not be able to eat. I was despondent and really didn't care if I lived or died. Of course, I did not go gently into that good night. I tried and tried to convince you otherwise and part of me still does. But I have survived a year without you, have only done anything with you three times since then and the last was almost four months ago. A year ago, survival was very much in doubt.
I have been up late tonight researching some stocks to buy. I believe I have some good ones picked out that are ready for a potential breakthrough where I will earn significantly for the investment I make. Here's hoping! I finished the one stock book that I was reading. It was filled with invaluable information. I might have to actually purchase my own copy of it for reference even though I took copious notes from it. Tonight I was poring over graphs of some stocks I've been watching. I have another book that I need to pick up at the Library on money and investing. I am not greedy, but it takes money to live and only a fool would not explore all avenues to making some. I have goals, places I want to be. They may be without you, that is your choice, but for where I am going, I will need money.
When I pick up the investing book, I will have to browse for a good piece of fiction. I haven't had one for too long now.
I continue to progress with my writing. After corresponding with the editor of the one magazine who want to see more of my work, I have started some new poetry. I am not merely going to dash down and send off any old thing however. I am actually working on these. It's a challenge, but I find that I really enjoy it. I guess my poet side had always been a bit lazy, feeling it was ok to simply dash off the feeling in the moment and send it off as is. That might be appropriate for some pieces, but not all. I find that most "poets" I know approach it that way and that is one of the contributing factors of their failure.
I went for my blood tests today. My previous one I had a high bilirubin count. Hopefully, that won't be the case for this one. I want to get to the bottom of my ongoing abdominal pain, nausea and vomiting, but I'd rather it be something more simple than some of the things that a high bilirubin count can be. Unfortunately, the omeprazole pill they had put me on has not helped. Yesterday was a downright awful day of it.
When I went to the facility to have my blood drawn, there were three cars there - a Toyota identical to the one you drove when I met you, a Kia identical to the one you drove while we dated and a Mazda identical to the one you now drive. Coincidence? I think you know where my thoughts fall on that issue. So the signs continue and there have been many others.
It is hard for me to believe that 2014 is nearly to a close. February will mark the second anniversary of my time without the best horse I will ever have in my lifetime. . .
Well, I must soldier on now to my creative writing. It's going on midnight as I close this, so if I want any sleep before it's time to work again, and I do, I must bid adieu to you. I love you still. Would you consider marrying me yet?
Love always,
MNP