I cannot believe we are nearing the end of February 2014 already. Although I am still without you in my life, it certainly has started to be a better year than the last two were at this time. Maybe you will come back to me and have 2014 end on a fantastic note, but we shall see on that one.
I am glad it is Friday. This is one of the first Saturdays since you left me that I have truly and completely looked forward to. Tomorrow, I get to practice equine massage moves. It's been a long time coming in this course, but the solid foundation of knowledge has been a good way to work toward this moment. I may even go for a ride tomorrow. I've got nothing to lose at this point. The worst that can happen? Well, no different than any time I've taken a ride, I might die, but better to die in the saddle doing what I love than to die alone in a bed old and shriveled, and likely not knowing who anyone is. I know that may be an exaggeration, it's likely that nothing will happen on a short ride, but I certainly can't hurt my neck any worse than it already is, so I might as well enjoy a moment that I've missed for so long now.
I am reaching the halfway point in An American Betrayal, so maybe just maybe I will have it done before I have to take it back. Hopeful anyway. I've tried to do more reading on it than the mystery novel I have, so I haven't knocked out the last pages in it just yet.
Next week is a full dance card for me with doctors appointments and the like. I have to go to my regular doctor to set up an MRI for my neck, I got to my mental therapist Tuesday and then to physical therapy on Wednesday. Hopefully, I will be able to get an MRI set up sometime, too. Feel like I am Humpty Dumpty who has fallen quite apart and now all the King's horses and men are trying to put me back together again.
I counted 14 Kia's today with no special significance to any of them or any signs. That's the way the world works sometimes. I really wish I was seeing you tomorrow, that would make my life damn near complete, and I could die in that moment and be happy. Since I know I will not, I will go on living. I long for a day when perchance, you and I will be saying, I do. Do you?
Yours always,
MNP