Not quite sure what kind spirit took pity on me last night, but right around my bath time, I got calm and that depression hanging over my head seemed to flee. I can still feel it hanging around, it's always going to be there as long as we are through, but at least it didn't rule my day today.
I had more email from you today - 2 messages. Although they are still sparse on conversing the way true friends do, they still give me hope. Hope that you will let me back into your life as a friend. From there, I hope I can convince you that I have changed, so our friendship can be a true and solid one. From there, I hope that you will see that our love is worth another chance. I will not force anything or try to push that, but you can't hate me for hoping that things will naturally bend that way.
I passed my course on biting, shoeing/trimming, and saddle fit! I was so excited about that. I am just thrilled to have seen that course through to the end finally. Now, back to equine massage with a passion. I really hope to be able to start a side business doing that and maybe one day that will be my business!
Then, more good news! An organization to work on getting clean water to developing nations that I contacted about volunteering is interested in my having help them with some marketing and grant proposal writing. I am very thankful for all of this good news and feel like it's a result of the gratitude project that you told me about before our breakup. I am so glad I have circled back to it now.
If nothing else out of all this, the world will have earned a better citizen in me.
I counted 16 Kia's today and took a sign from number 15. It was identical to your Optima Pearl. Not yours, but then the song by Pink - Just Give Me a Reason came on! I think that song is very fitting for us, so I take that as a positive sign.
I know I was super depressed the last two days, but these positive signs are building in me an appreciation for change and gratitude. I am rebuilding my neural networks to being a better me. I can't wait to see you in person and start showing you that changed person. I can only hope it leads to me asking you to marry me.
With much gratitude,
MNP