Four years ago, we were there, at that hockey game. It was my first ever hockey game, and I was so glad it was with you. It was our first trip together, and I just smiled all night long to see how you genuinely enjoyed that game. I wish we had gone on another trip to see a hockey game and take in the sights in the nation's capital. That was such a happy time, full of such good memories. If I die tonight, I will be happy that I could do something to put a smile on your face like I did then.
Unfortunately, this weekend we were apart still. We were not building memories with one another. We were not kissing one another. We were not simply enjoying the feel of one another being close.
I avoided breaking down today. I am committed to focusing on the positive and building more and more gratitude for what I do have in my life and in building more moment to be thankful for. That is what is important to do to keep building on my base of positive changes for the year 2014.
I wonder so often now about what you are doing each day. Sometimes that drives me absolutely crazy. Other times I am merely sad to know that you won't be telling me about all the things you did. I am sorry that my many texts made you feel panicked and upset. I only sent so many because I wanted to know what you were up to, to feel close to you once again, to make you know that I cared so very much for you and only you.
I counted 24 Kia's today and had no signs that I could see, at least not yet, that you and I might be reunited.
I watched a movie on DVD that you might find interesting. It's called Get Low and has Sissy Spacek, Robert Duvall and Bill Murray in it. It is one of those gems of a movie that didn't get wide play when it was out, but that are definitely worth the watch - good acting and good writing with an interesting story.
I meditated, wrote and worked on my gratitude projects. It was a full day of working on me. You are the only person that I want to show the new me, so I hope one day you will let me. I long for the day when I will say veux-tu m'épouser? You will say, mais oui, and we can live in some little house oblivious t the rest of the world in our happiness.
Je t'aime,
MNP