I read today about the smallest baby ever known. The baby was taken early at 22 weeks, 6 days, and was the length of a ballpoint pen. I can't even imagine seeing a baby that small.
I was in Shepherdstown today and saw a gentleman in a Saints hat. When I told him, "Nice, hat," he mentioned that he played for the Saints from the late 1970's to mid 1980's. The exact time I was growing up in that area! He is Wayne Wilson, a running back who played for the Saints. He grew up in Maryland and
went to Shepherd University. Now he is a coach for the football team there. How cool is that? I was so happy to meet him and get to shake his hand.
I saw news today about some very troubling things about our world. There was a followup story about the Japanese earthquake and tsunami three years ago. The piece featured a man not much older than me who lost his father, wife and youngest daughter. They recovered his wife and father's bodies, but not his daughter. Due to the radiation, he can only go out ten days a year to search for her body, but he continues with slim hope because he wants to find her. His own mother lives in government provided housing that was sadly reminiscent of the trailers post Katrina because she needs to find a suitable place to bury her husband's ashes. The family cemetery is the ideal spot, but she knows her granddaughter would not be able to visit his grave for some time due to the radiation, so she stays and waits, cut off from her son and granddaughter. Mother nature dealt a heavy blow, but it was the man-made disaster that won't
let the wounds heal.
The other piece was from Appalachia and how the poor continue to struggle there in unimaginable ways from healthcare to food to all the basics so many of us take for granted daily. We should be doing better by one another.
I counted 35 Kia's today. Early in the day, a car was leaving that looked just like your old Matrix, the car you drove when I met you. A red-headed woman was even driving it. I had to do a serious double-take. For a brief second, it was almost like it was 2009 again when we first met. I found myself wishing it was all day today. I can't explain it but every so often a day creeps up on me where it is hard to plaster the smile on my face and act as though I am whole again, over you, and ready to move on. You have to put on that act both to save others and to save yourself. If you don't, you cause them pain and eventually, they will cause you pain because they will want to lock you away, either physically or through medication, for the pain you continue to feel. No matter how much I change, no matter how much good I do, no matter how much of the light
of happiness I am able to capture here and there, I cannot now ever be completely happy.
On that note, I think it's best for me to call it a day and do some meditation and gratitude exercises, so I can try to light up the dark corners of my soul that threaten to overtake me. Good night, Alexa, can you hear me asking, " Will you marry me?"
Loving you forever,
MNP
PS: I just saw one of those shared pictures with quotes on social media. It said about knowing that you will never love another again because you know you've found the one. I know many have told me that's not possible, but it's what I know in my heart to now be true.