I ran in all sorts of different directions today, and you were always on my mind. I miss how you would have been there for me through these difficult things. I started out having to go to the doctor, to get referred to a physical therapist. My right thumb is numb nearly all of the time and the pain and pins and needles feeling has gotten out of control on that side of me. I just hope that they really that they can work to get to the root of this recurring problem. I don't want to be back where I am now in another two years. It's been an endless cycle over the past ten years.
Later in the day, I went to my counseling appointment. As you can see, I haven't quit on that. I am quite serious in my endeavor to be a better person. It's hard work, dredging up stuff that I would rather not, but I am going to dredge it up, acknowledge, find ways to work around it and then let go of those things that hold me back.
The countless trips let me count Kia's, lots of them. I saw a total of 50 Kia's! No, I didn't see yours today, so I couldn't smile at your Optima Pearl, but number ten did look just like yours. I strained hard to see if it might be you. Number 19 was interesting because it was orange and black and had TEXAS across the back window. I know it was for the university, but maybe a sign since I was born in Texas? I will take my signs wherever they manifest although some might call me crazy.
I am exhausted from this week. I think it's probably from all of the emotional upheaval of the past month in reality. You have moved me in ways that no one else ever could. My every hope is that you will allow me another chance, see that I am better than I ever was and that you will marry me.
Here's hoping,
MNP