Well the Xanax put me in a deep, deep sleep. I must say that it was rather nice. I haven't had a night's sleep like that in a very long time, and felt much more rested today than I have in a while. I wouldn't want to get hooked on the stuff, but at least I will take advantage of this rest. The odd thing was that I had a dream and you were in it, but you were called Tammy Burke. I don't recall anything beyond that, I suspect because of the Xanax, which was a bummer.
The day rolled along nice and easy, but Tramadol is crap, at least for me, it was a total waste of money. It didn't last any longer than the over the counter pain killers I've been taking. Just hoping that after this MRI on Friday that I can get some answers on where to go from here to be pain free without having to take anything.
I went to my counseling session, and it was the first session since I started going that I didn't break down in tears at all. That's huge progress. Now I can move forward on developing new strategies for me to handle my relationships in life. I know our relationship ending was not all my fault, but I know that I played a role in it's demise. If I am ever to have another chance with you, I will not let it fizzle again due to the problems I am uncovering.
I saw 20 total Kia's today in my Kia counting game.
I read some in Winter's Tale and watched the episode of The Blacklist that I missed last night due to my early to bed Xanax moment. I am waiting to take it tonight until I am really ready to snooze coz that all I can do when I do.
The best news of the day was an early morning email from you. It was still one of those short ones, but I didn't have to wait nearly three weeks for this one, and you seemed somewhat more at ease. Maybe it was that email or something else, but this evening, I had a feeling come over me that felt like an assurance that I would have you back in my life. Some would say delusional or false hope, but whatever the case, it felt good.
I miss you dear, Alexa, I miss you in ways that I never imagined I could miss another person. I've said it before, but you know, no one else could ever have made me want to change myself in any way or to even feel like I could. You did. You are amazing. Would you marry me?
Ever yours,
MNP