I had pizza for dinner last night. Do you know how many acres of pizza the average America eats each year? 18! Can you believe that? 18 acres of pizza. Wouldn't it be cool to make an 18 acre pizza to get a visual on that stat? I would love to see that. That's my fact that I learned today.
Today . . .today was the day, the day that I have been waiting to arrive for over four months . . .today was the day that I would not just see you in your car, as we passed one another on the road somewhere, but the day that I would see you face to face.
I think it went amazingly well. I confess that I was nearly in tears when you got out to get gas and then again at our parting, but the rest felt like old times, or even better, like good times, times where we could be who are and discover one another and be in each other's corner. The first moment of tears was because I was sad that we were meeting just as friends . . . I still in my heart hope for a complete reconciliation, so it is hard for me to get used to the friend routine.
Once we got underway, you filled me in on how you had been reading a lot of math material and material about the Holocaust. You spoke openly and freely about how that and the genealogy work you have been doing were intriguing to you. It was good to see you light about things. You need to keep doing what you are passionate about. You can do so much when you do.
We got to the soggy zoo and only had an hour to go around. Most of the animals either weren't back from Florida yet or if they were, were not out due to the rain. I got soaked and cold, but I could have stayed out there with you all night because it was so very good to spend time with you. We saw some animals, shared some laugh, but most importantly, I think, we go through this first meeting and not a single bad thing happened.
I told you about some of my reading, like Winter's Tale and The Brass Ankle Blues, along with discussions on my neck. I also told you about my mediation, and how I had learned so much in doing so, and become a more spiritual person as a result, that I was now on a path of transcendence, trying to find my purpose in life. We also briefly touched on my therapist and how she has helped me.
We talked for a bit in your car before I left to go home from your apartment, mostly about my upcoming surgery. I could sense that your care and concern for me was coming from the heart, and I really thank you for that. I nearly cried then because I wanted more time . . .
I hope we will get together soon and continue to keep growing and building on this good start. At some point, we will need to address some of those old issues that caused our breakup, and I hope that we both can be honest, open and mature in that discussion. It's not about placing blame on anyone. It's about respecting and loving each other enough to change. If we can get there, I think we stand a good shot of one day reconciling. I have to hope for that, as it is my one wish in life. I wish I could have asked you there in the rain, "Will you marry me?"
Loving you more today,
MNP