Well, don't that just beat all. I had a whole post prepared and posted only to find that it didn't take. Another way that the spirit world saved me?! Maybe.
Anyway, hitting with force, I have been bird watching of late, and I am eternally fascinated by the woodpeckers. I love their expressive actions and faces and how they preserver. In fact, the woodpecker is seen as a sign of using wisdom to overcome barriers. I think it is fitting right now in my life. I had one come right up to the window outside where I work the other day and look in on me for a long while. I read up some on them and learned that they hit with a force 1,000X that of gravity when they hit a tree.
That's kind of like the force your goodbye hit me with. I am fairly certain that unless you have a new car, that you have already moved in with your next lover, not even a year after dumping me, wow. No, I didn't go looking for that information, but it's kind of hard when the apartment you were living in with your mom is on the way to where I go to the barn and by a loop of walking trail that I use in my daily runs and walks.
I haven't looked at your Twitter feed in over a month, you cut me out of your Facebook about 3 weeks ago and I have not answered your last email, and won't.
I will preserver and I will be better for it. I am sure someone will value me for who I am. Although I will never love them as I do you, and I will be honest about that to them, I will find happiness again, and I will work to make that kind person in my future happy. Can you say the same about the person you are now seeing?
I am over halfway through with Drood, such an interesting work, a blend of fact and fiction, I guess in reality there is no reality, so all is a fiction we construct in our mind really. I also picked up a book from the library on stock investing. It's a topic I've always dabbled in, but now it's time to grow those stocks that I have and make even more money on them than I have previously. I've made some really good choices already, but can make even better.
I rode again on Saturday. The mare I rode again was again nervous. I am trying to help her build up her confidence because she desperately needs it. Coming back to the crossties, another horse was sleeping in her stall. When that horse got up, the horse I had ridden, panicked and jumped right into me, including one hoof on my right ankle. Instant pain and a bit of shock, but I didn't scream or yell. That would have only let her know she was right to be scared and maybe needed to be even more scared, so I just calmed her down. You could see she felt bad and in the end, some nasty bruising, a little bit of bleeding and soreness were the only issues.
I have tried to block out all signs of you, but unfortunately they still come to me. Whether they come via your name in an email or the word TADA, as did this past week or when I am out and meet someone new who has your name or who has some other connection, they still come to me. I acknowledge them, but I have done all I can. I counted 5 Kia's last Friday, 41 on Saturday,
Such is life and I still ask: Will you marry me?
Ever the romantic fool,
MNP
PS: whatever guardian angel saved me from making the previous post that I would have regretted in some ways, thank you!