I truly hope you stayed put today and are safe and sound in your warm bed tonight. This snowstorm reminded me of those that first Winter you and I were a couple. I thought a lot about those days back then, the happy moments that they brought into my life, all because of you. They always leave me, so sad because I know that it could have even been better, but you've made your choice now, and I am making mine, alone. Not the way I wanted, but I guess in the end, you got what you wanted.
While the stubborn core of my heart maintains hope and belief that one day you will realize just what we had, my mind has to proceed like that will never happen.
I miss seeing White Tiger around the house. He had been here nearly as long as I had, and was a mostly silent sentinel keeping watch over us all. I imagine he and Blue are together now, and I hope they both are looking over me, giving me strength since your leaving me has nearly drained me of what I had.
I didn't go anywhere today, this makes two weeks without physical therapy, and I am surely feeling it.
It is amazing some things you discover when your heart is broken versus when your heart is in love. I have mostly listened to upbeat songs during the past four years because you at my side, my partner, my lover, my moon and sun, kept me focused on the happy in life. When you left, you took those things, and now I am focused more on the blues again, back where I have lived most of my life.
This song, is such a poignant one and perfectly captures what I am feeling.
Maybe one day, I will get to ask if you will marry me . . . maybe.
With but a little hope,
MNP