Yes, certainly finding the light to guide you on life's path can be one of the most difficult things in times when pain seems to be the only thing you are feeling. This pain in my heart since you left has been immense.
I had worried that you might not want to be friends anymore after my deep email to you, but thank you for replying back. Of course, it wasn't the reply that I wanted deep in my heart and every cell of mine. You know well, that I hoped you would grant me another chance for our love. Of course you didn't. I had the normal reaction that an overly sensitive individual with a huge heart does. Tears and sadness followed by anger. But you know what? They didn't last long, no more than an eye-blink really.
Then I put that away and opted to focus on the positive in the situation. My gratitude and positivity work are changing me for the better, just as my physical and mental therapy are changing my body and mind. Thank you for answering me back and thank you for still being friends. In doing so, you have replenished my hope. Your email was kind and courteous and did show some level of concern for me. I still see you and I together in the future, living the life we are meant to, together and in love. Our path is littered with difficulty and sometimes the light is hard to find, but together we can do anything. If that doesn't happen, well I'll die believing one day it will. I won't force it.
I counted 14 of those Kia's today, and I wasn't really out driving around too much.
Thank you for being the best thing that happened to me in my life. You have shown me that people can truly care, love and open their hearts to one another. You have shown me the aspects of myself that I don't like and given me a reason to change them. Know this that you have made one person in the world a better one, and like the starfish in the story, you made a difference to one, at least. Maybe one day that one will get to marry you. That would be a nice.
With much love for you,
MNP