What a glorious day it was. It was definitely a day to be outside in the sunshine doing something you love, and that is my wish for you. I hope you were doing something you truly enjoyed today. I wish it had been with me, but I understand that doing things with me is not what you want, at least not now.
The horses at the barn were speaking of Spring with every step they took. Even the older horses were galloping around their paddocks. Former racehorses like Allez Tam were recalling their days of glory when their hooves thundered in unison working toward the finish line and those who never set foot on a track were recalling their youth. Hope Springs eternal in the heart of every living thing. I know it beats in my own heart that you and I will be reunited one day.
I finally was to a lesson that involved actual massage this week and today was the day to put all the learning of bones, muscles and problems to the test of the techniques. I thoroughly enjoyed this work, and I really hope to have this set up as a side business very soon. The extra money, for sure, will be nice, but that's not why I so love it. Why I so love it can be best told in a story from today's work with Tessa. I am still a novice, but this reaction was so heartwarming and is one of those things that has made me happy this year.
Everyone warned me that Tessa could be grumpy, toss her head in the cross ties and maybe even nip. Of course, I can see why. If you were as old as she, had given birth to babies and were still trucking on as a lesson horse, I imagine we, too, would be less than thrilled upon being brought into the barn. Sure enough, when I went to halter Tessa, she nipped at me. The kind old soul did let me halter though and trudged obediently behind me as I led her to the barn.
Once secured in the crossties, she began to paw and toss her head. It only took a few minutes though before her mood changed. She was curious as to what I was doing and then she started to relax. I found places where her muscles were tight and worked on them for some time. She relaxed completely as we worked together, no more head tossing or pawing either. She licked and chewed to show her contentment and looked ready to go to sleep at some points. We so often hear, or even say ourselves, about animals if only they could talk, tell us where they hurt and such. The sad fact is that they do, all the time, we just have to learn how to listen. I swear Tessa smiled at me. I am so thankful that I took this equine massage course, so thankful that I got Tessa to feel better and that she smiled at me. There is no greater gift than knowing you've made another living soul smile.
I used to make you smile. I miss being able to do that. I wish I could do it again.
I saw 82 total Kia's today - a new record! I saw them as I went to get gas, dropped off some donations at Goodwill and went to and from the barn.
You know, I think I am over the worst part of getting used to us being over. I never thought I had an addictive bone in my body, but I have found that I was quite addicted to you. I think my withdrawal stage is coming to a close, so that at least I will have some peace. While I still love you with everything I have, in order to live, I have to get over the crippling stage, and it's the only way that I can continue to grow and become a better person.
I want to show you that person, because you are making me that better person. Thank you for that. I hope you will give me that chance, so I can ask that question that I have wanted to ask you from the start - would you marry me?