I still have heard nothing from you and that silence just eats away at my heart and soul. I don't really know where to go from here. I don't know if I should just resign myself to being alone for the rest of my life or should I keep clinging to that hope that you will come back and that my life won't be lonely like it has become forever. Because I will be alone if you don't come back to me. I don't want anyone else but you.
The first half of my day was positive enough. I spent most of the day at the barn. It is good to be among people and even better to be among horses. I actually rode Chip, a Quarter Horse that you never met. He was a pretty good boy overall, but he does have some steering issues, so I just kept things slow and worked on that with him, with just a little trotting at the end. I wish you had been there to see me ride. I took such great pride in watching your own riding abilities grow. I hope that you will seek out riding opportunities even if you never come back to me because you have ability, and it seemed to make you happy.
Then I returned home and that high lasted for a while, but of course, my old friends loneliness and depression found me. I just keep thinking about how this could be it. How you and I may never be together again. When those thoughts overtake me, I am hard-pressed to get out of it.
Then, I watched my Saints lose to end their season. Needless to say, I've had better nights.
I did only see 3 Kia's. Well actually, I saw 4 - yours would have been number 3, but I can't count it, as I pass it on the way to the barn parked at your apartment. I didn't see you, unfortunately.
You were in a dream with me last night. We were CIA agents, can you believe that?! We were on the trail of a nasty terrorist who was targeting my mom, brother and sister after we failed to catch him in a spectacular shoot-out at a gas station. We never did catch him before I woke up. We were dating in that dream, so I actually find myself wishing I was in my dream world.
Well, I must end saying only that I love you and will love you forever. You have and always will be my one true love. I wish you were wi