I am loving this book about the slave Yarrow Mamout. I am about halfway through now, and just find it enlightening to read about the history of not only this man, his family, all they achieved, but also all of the seemingly forgotten history of our country's infancy. For me, the Revolutionary War has always held
more interest than the Civil War. Nothing against the Civil War, but it was in that earlier time and conflict that we became a country, one that has lofty ideals that anyone should be proud of. While we don't always live up to the promise, we strive to do so, and that is far above and beyond what most other countries do.
In it, I learned that the artist Charles Willson Peale, not only painted a portrait of Yarrow, but also of a slave named James. James was known as the "white negro" because of his skin seemingly turning white. Today, we understand that James had Vitiligo, but then it was assumed by some that you could actually overcome your skintone. Isn't that awful to think of? At least one leading doctor at the time believed that "negroidism" could be cured and cases like James and others were proof of it. Vitiligo has been a part of my life ever since I can remember, and even though the UV treatments I received as a child helped close up some of the worst areas, I still have areas that the pigment never came back, and over the years (especially the last 2 stressful ones) I've noted a few new white spots here and there.
I actually am enjoying the other book I picked up, too, You Are One of Them. I am also about halfway through it. You never know when you blindly pick up a book in the library, but this time, I am pleasantly surprised. I will most likely have them both done well before their due date, which coincidentally I
noticed today happens to be your birthday.
I am composing a proposal to the town of Middletown to let me fundraise and build a Little Library. I've wanted to do that for about three years now, but had been procrastinating. No more though. I am trying to put procrastination in the rearview mirror of my life where it belongs.
Another endeavor of mine is working to start a local chapter of a group that brings grant proposal writing to the areas non-profits. Since I have my certificate in grant proposal writing, and I have long believed all non-profits should have someone with such training, this would be an awesome thing to start up. I look forward to the challenge and hopefully, a positive result for all. Plus these projects also keep me busy, fill up the hours between waking and sleep that can be so difficult for me to get through.
I found a peace today. Yes, I will still have moments of deep sorrow over you leaving me, and I am still certain you are my soulmate, my one true love. However, I think I can find my own way to being of use. I know I said that before, but I do think the key lies in not seeking you out, not doing things with you in person. That makes me sad, but better to tempt the kind of meltdown I had when you clearly were talking about your next love, or at least the one that you have set your sights on.
There is much in the world of human interactions that I still never will understand, but I think the biggest of mysteries to me is why someone complains about a person's habits and defects, but doesn't give the person a chance to change, to try to work things out. I've changed so much because of the breakup, but in some ways it seems pointless. I can't think too deeply on that though. Thinking too deeply can be a problem for me.
I counted 83 Kia's today, 43 yesterday, and 16 the day before.
Today the supermoon, the super's one for quite some time, will shine. It will obscure the peak of the Perseids meteor shower in ways similar to how you eclipse my heart. I still love you. For me there is no past tense to that
emotion, and I only love you stronger with each passing day. May the supermoon
shine on your heart and lead you to the truth, which I am not saying is to lead
you back to me. Though I might wish it, I can't will it. But, I will send out to
the supermoon to you my nightly question once again: Will you marry
me?
At some level of peace,
MNP