I feel bad for the few people on this Earth who still care for me because I know they don't like seeing me in this deep state of depression. I don't know what went wrong, but starting yesterday afternoon through today I have not been able to shake this depression. Up until then, I had made great progress. I was really starting to focus only on the positive. Now, bam, nothing seems to help. I wish I knew how to change things like I wish I knew why you walked away.
I know we were having some problems, and I know I had my share of the blame in that equation, but the vague reasons you left me with, the sudden way you did it and the way it all seemed like you didn't care at all, it just left me with so many unanswered questions, so many emotions that are impossible now to process.
I think back to our first day that hike all those years ago, going on five now in fact, I felt totally safe with you right from the beginning, and I think you did, too. We both opened up and told each other painful things, not the kinds of things you would normally comment on during a first date. We both even remarked on that. That's how I knew you were my true love. To feel like I could tell you anything and that you felt the same . . . how else do you explain it? We both are guarded people. I believe if you think back you will see that, and no matter who else you date that one day you will realize it. I hope I can hold onto hope to hold on to life long enough to see that day.
I saw 29 Kia's today.
I will never stop loving you,
MNP
PS: I hope you will think about us and someday we can be married.