Another day in which your silence has been all that greeted me again. I guess I will never know why you have opted to not write me anymore unless you choose to let me know, but if this is your decision and what makes you happy, so be it. All I have ever wanted for you was to be happy. I expected we would find
happiness together, but it seems that is not what you want.
Today, I woke to feeling much improved from the day I had yesterday and I was very thankful for that. I also woke to another dream with you in it. We were reunited as lovers in that dream, so I woke with a happy thought in my mind. It is hard for me to believe and accept that this is the only option I have for ever seeing you again, but if that is your will, that is the way it will be. I do not think less of you for the decision that you have made no matter what anyone else might say or think.
I saw the movie The Monuments Men today. What an interesting vignette from history that should have been celebrated all along. It is movie I had planned to see with you because I felt certain it would be
one we could enjoy together. I hope you go to see it because it is worth seeing. The cast does brilliantly well together and helps to preserve this important story of courage and respect for what makes living so great. I am truly thankful to the real people who risked their lives to save the history of our civilization. I cannot imagine a world where we might only know what they saved through pictures, if indeed, those even existed.
I counted 39 Kia's as I found myself going to and fro today. None looked like yours nor did I see yours even by your apartment. There are times I want to simply drive by where you live, simply to know that you are still in my world and other times when I do go by that I wish I hadn't seen your car at all. Thus is the nature of pleasure mixed with pain at the thought of the loss of a true love. Perhaps you have been spared that pain. I guess that would be for the best really, no sense in having two miserable people in such close proximity
that might well upset some unseen, unknown balance in the world.
Be kind to yourself and remember that when all else might be grey or dark and gloomy in your world that so long as I exist on any plane where souls dare to tread and dreams take flight that I will be loving you for that is what I was meant to do. I wish you would let me marry you, but I guess you will never move beyond where we are now, stuck in a frozen state of neither love nor hate for me, but merely apathy.
Missing you,
MNP