I believe I have turned a corner today. Although I remain committed to you and very much in love with you, I am moving on. You seem to have forgotten so easily all about us and how we had a future together. I refuse to do that, but I also refuse to live in misery for you. My heart still only beats for you, but I will move on. I believe one day you will wake up to the reality that when you ended us, that you ended something incredibly beautiful and worthwhile. That you will actually miss us enough to seek me out and reconcile.
My heart waits on that day, but my happiness and my life no longer will. I went out and ran some errands on my Saturday. I skipped the barn for the threat of snow that never materialized, but that's ok. Sometimes a break is needed.
I also read and wrote a lot. I have nearly finished The Weird Sisters, so I will be seeking out another book. I guess that is a positive since you left me, the time I have gained to read, to learn and to explore who I really am, to be brave enough to change the things you showed me that were not in my best interests and to have the ability to move on even from you.
I counted 42 total Kia's on my journeys today. I think it is also interesting that there were no references today to your name - all of those yesterday on the day of love and not a single one today. I don't think my loving you or feeling that you are my true love is truly a mistake as you do.
As I move forward in change, know that you still have the half of my heart that I have given you. I will never take that back. It is yours, as is all of my love. I would marry you every day of my life if you would allow
it.
I love and miss your goofy humor. It always brought to me the greatest of joy even when I acted like it was beneath me. I never, perhaps, really told you just how much I adored that silly wit of yours. May it always be there for you to find humor in even the darkest of nights.
Still in love with you,
MNP